Conspiracy theories tend to flourish after traumatic events – think 9-11, or the Princess Di accident. So naturally, during a very traumatizing recession, conspiracy theorists have emerged from the woodwork once again. Indeed, the latest conspiracy surrounds one of the City’s most iconic firms – its bankers are the best paid, its secretive culture is the subject of books and restless banter. The bank everybody loves to hate is, of course, Goldman Sachs.

As the King of the banking oligarchy, Goldman Sachs’ influence on markets and monetary policy is clearly enormous. And it’s no surprise that outsiders attack a firm with such a glittering aura, attempting to prove that all that glitters is not Goldman. Conspiracies against the firm have always sizzled – “Why are there so many ex-Goldman guys in the Government?” “Why are there so many Jews? Or even, “Does Goldman Sachs rule the world?” Then, a website was launched in March – www.goldmansachs666.com - painting the place as some kind of devil-bank.

Rumours intensified when Goldman announced first quarter profits of $2.6 billion, and oh, that they’re able to repay their $10 billion in TARP money so they are free to pay their hard-earned, silly-size bonuses next year. Goldman is SO eager to get out of the government’s shadow, the CEO kept 300 people working all weekend to answer questions on the government’s “stress test.”

There must be a sinister explanation - or wait - could an investment bank actually be doing okay?

The truth is doubtless not what conspirators want to hear: that most of the rumours directed at Goldman stem from jealousy, not reality.

Ask almost anyone in the City and they’ll tell you that Goldman’s success isn’t due to financial conspiracy, but instead, their obsession with excellence. Indeed, the firm is unique in that it exhibits something absent from most every other City bank: everything works. Yes, everything – from the efficient IT help desk, to the literate secretaries. And that’s something that, having worked among clueless Risk Managers and incompetent IT staff, I’d pay Goldman-style sums for.

I know it's natural to try and make sense of mayhem, and conspiracy theories erupt in an attempt to do just that. But there isn’t a group of very clever, evil people working plotting to conquer the world on Fleet Street - just very clever ones. If you asked someone who works at Goldman, he’d say you “pay for what you get.” Annoyingly, he’s probably right. It’s annoying enough to make those of us at less solvent banks green with Goldman-envy.